Simplify

I’ve decided that it was time to simplify my life, starting with my closet. This weekend dozens of beautiful ladies came to my house to drink champagne and shop my closet.

My closet is not very big but somehow I managed to spread its contents out into 3 rooms of my house without even making a dent. The sale went well, sold a couple hundred dollars worth of memories I’ve been saving for a decade.

Special Shout-Outs:

• Adios orange sorbet Free People dress with the pretty fiesta colored tie bow thing I was wearing when I found my lost cat (Bo Bo) on Cinco de Mayo and shoved in my back pack so I could carry him home on my bike and drink my margarita at the same time. You were not the brightest but had a good soul.

• Farewell first pair of Vans that I almost died in because I didn’t own a proper pair of athletic shoes and wore to climb a small mountain in Thailand during 100 degree weather. I’m sorry my dog chewed your heel off - we still cool?

• Bye-bye slutty gray dress with the long sleeves and open back that I only wore once when I drank way too much Jager that one New Years Eve and crashed through a glass table in. You were a total skank but were the life of the party.

To all the others - it’s been real. Enjoy your new life!

Now time to blow all the cash I made on new clothes. Whoopsies!