American History XXX
People with southern accents can say the simplest things and it sounds so profound. I always wonder if they’re quoting something, although usually they are not. It’s the accent that causes this effect. It makes certain sentences sound like old sayings passed down from generation to generation.
For example, I was talking to one of the shop truck drivers today about how many times he’s almost died. The most recent being of carbon monoxide poisoning when he was on the road and his tractor trailer malfunctioned. When he was done listing all of his brushes with death he said the following with certainty, caked in a thick southern accent:
“When I finally die my guardian angel is not going to have a feather left.”
Say it out loud in your best southern accent and tell me that doesn’t sound like some old time saying that’s been floating around since the Civil War. Imagine a confederate soldier comes home from the Battle of Gettysburg and he’s sitting with his family around the wooden kitchen table his grand pappy made. Telling his poor old mama he’s lucky to be alive as he recounts all of the horrible things he saw.
Speaking of the Battle of Gettysburg… Anytime it’s mentioned all I can think of is the overnight trip we took to The Civil War Museum back in 7th grade. My friend Nicole broke new ground by giving “the first hand job” in the back of the bus. It was a big deal, bigger than Robert E. Lee’s invasion of the North.
See, if I were Southern, that last bit of information would have sounded like I clued you in on a piece of American history rather than dishing out old gossip from middle school.
