Suck It
My first mindless rant post. I cannot stand vacuums. Originally I was going to write something thoughtful about my history with vacuums, you know, give some meaning to things.
Nope. I just hate them. I hate vacuums.
Right now, the brain lump stoner kid that cleans the office is vacuuming. Who cleans offices at 3pm on a Thursday? It doesn’t even matter that I can’t hear my own words because I’m not talking to anybody on the phone anymore. Why? Because my phone cord has been sucked up. It’s a war-zone around my desk. I’ve lost count how many times he’s bumped my chair with that dusty suck log he calls a vacuum.
I know it’s not good to hate things. I’m putting horrible vacuum juju out into the universe. By now they’ve probably sent messages through the outlets and have begun organizing an attack. It’s only a matter of time before you find me asphyxiated in a pile of dust bunnies. Death by vacuum cord.
They’re out to get me.
